Today we have the next instalment in our What The Mental Health? series and competition. We have a wonderful guest article from the lovely Eimear who runs Kindling Dating. Eimear is a dating expert and has the inside scoop on making the process easier on your mental health!
Dating These Days Is Tough!
Dating is hyper connected, but overwhelming; creating disconnect and loneliness.
Anyone looking for love and a meaningful connection are feeling lost in today’s dating field.
People single for a while have lost faith. They are dating apps but fed up with them and divorcees and widowers starting over don’t know where to begin.
We all lament the old days, where we met people organically out and about. But are we looking back with rose tinted glasses?
Do you also remember the excitement of getting ready thinking that tonight might be the night that you meet someone? Do you remember also the negative self-talk as you tried on various outfits and you found flaws in yourself?
When out taking the long route to the toilet so you could see who was there. Or waiting a little longer than you needed at the bar? Your friends looking over your shoulder trying to make eyes with someone rather than being present with you. At the end of the night if you hadn’t met someone you went home feeling disappointed and lonely.
Online Dating
One thing I do miss from those days is if you did chat someone up and it was a no, then you went back to your friends and had a bit of a chuckle about it. With online dating you are dealing with that rejection in isolation.
The thing I most commonly hear is that I’m doing online dating but I don’t want to.
Everyone seems to struggle with online dating until they meet their person on an app. Then they are all glowing about them!
I met my husband on Tinder, so I know that they do work. However, I also recognise that they are a difficult space to navigate and often can have a really negative impact on our mental health.
The biggest impact on your mental health is that online dating can be isolating.
Dating and Mental Health
It leads you into negative cycles of feeling hopeful trying a new dating app. Then after a couple of bad experiences taking a break from dating in disappointment. As we get older we often don’t have as many or in fact any single friends to share these feelings with, anyone who hasn’t had to experience dating in the past 10 years doesn’t really get it.
We can get too in our heads with online dating, every message sent we get our hopes up and start to a fantasy around that person, every message not responded to, or every bad date we think why us, what did we do wrong?
Leading to our self-esteem and confidence taking another little knock every time. Without even realising it we will start to build up defences to protect us from these knocks, and these can prevent us from letting someone in.
What Is The Solution?
This is why I founded Kindling Dating Coaching, it is designed to help people to become unstuck. Asking you questions that you may not have ever taken the time to think deeply about. Changing how you approach dating so you can maintain a healthy balance and believe that you will actually meet someone.
In dating we often keep doing the same thing expecting a different result as we think that we are only 50% of the equation so maybe this time will be different. Or we can start to feel hopeless as you think it is up to fate or the stars aligning for the person you are seeking to cross your path. However you have more control over the outcome than you realise, because you have control over your mindset and belief.
By getting clear on what you want, and what you offer in a relationship we cultivate the belief that you will get the relationship that you deserve.
It completely changes how you engage with the world as you put out a positive energy that is attractive. You are no longer focusing on the negatives of how tough dating is, but rather resting in the self confidence that you will meet your person.
Intention
I ask all my clients to set an intention, the one thought that they are going to hold in their heads that will define how they make decisions and so their reality. One intention that I love is to say “I see loving opportunities”. It is amazing how just this little thought kept to the front of your mind can completely change what you see. You can see a happy couple and think that’s love, it’s what I want and will get rather than why not me.
Go ahead, make your new intention now, and start believing in love again.
Added to the Prize Bundle is…
A truly fantastic opportunity for our winner! Kindling Dating is offering one spot on the Kindling Dating Get Your Love Story Start 6 Week Challenge Group programme. Start Date TBC.
✅ Get Your Love Story Started 6 Week Challenge so that you start believing in love again and take positive action.
👉 The Challenge follows the Kindling Love Method which is a unique system to achieve a happy healthy relationship. We will work together to ignite your confidence and get you dating mindfully, saying goodbye to your old story, creating your own luck in love and living your hopefully romantic best life, dating with intention.
What’s Included:
✅ Weekly Group Coaching Calls to personalise your plan
✅ 6 Week Online Dating Plan, including Which App for me, Profile Setup and Account Take Over, so you hit the ground running dating with intent.
✅An accountability group chat so you keep positive and believe in love.
✅ Access to the Kindling App to do the self work in your time, in your way.
✅Eimear is on hand to ask anything anytime, like having a single best friend in your pocket.
This prize is worth a whopping £195 and is perfect to get that search for love on again! As with our previous WTMH? article, entries can be gained with each one, so make sure you have checked out the What The Mental Health series to maximise your chances of winning a huge prize bundle worth over £1800!! You can find them all in our Competitions section!
a Rafflecopter giveawayRemember to listen to WTMH? What The Mental Health? Our brand new podcast available over on Apple. Our first Episode ‘Introductions’ is available now and we will have a new one ready for you next week!
Eimear Draper
Dating Coach and founder of Kindling Dating.
Born out of personal experience after many years single, Eimear saw that many people were where she was, feeling stuck and helpless in their love lives. She founded Kindling Dating to help people to put the focus back on themselves, giving them self confidence along with the tools to navigate dating.
Running a number of programmes to give people the steps to believe in love again and start taking positive actions to get the happy healthy relationship they deserve.
Work with her 1:1 or join in a group of like minded people on the same journey.
Want a taster, contact Eimear to take the Free Detox Your Dating 7 day detox now.
